No Lying Allowed
by redchicken888
Summary: What happens if no one was allowed to lie? A lot of embarrassing secrets are revealed, that's what happens! Roy Mustang and Edward Elric have a contest to see who can tell the truth for the longest. Rated T because some...interesting questions. XD
1. The Bet

**No Lying Allowed**

**Chapter One: The Bet**

**Hello again, people! This is my second story. The idea popped in my head when I overheard a discussion that my sisters were having. Apparently they were wondering what would happen if everyone in the world couldn't lie. Then the little gears in my head started turning and…well…here's what I came up with. As always, please read and review, everyone!**

**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own any of the awesomeness that is the Fullmetal Alchemist series (sob, sob.)**

o0o

"Hey, Fullmetal," Roy Mustang said across his office. Edward Elric lifted his head and frowned at Mustang. "What?"

"You wanna bet on something?" Roy inquired. He smirked.

Fullmetal leaned back in his chair. He glanced at Mustang curiously. "Depends on what it is, bastard."

"Well, I've been thinking about this for a while, but…have you ever wondered what would happen if no one was allowed to lie?"

Ed frowned suspiciously. "You damn colonel. What are you up to? I'm not falling for one of your tricks again."

Mustang laughed and said, "I'm not up to anything. I just wanna try it out. See who could last the longest without lying. Maybe I'll get the whole office in on it, too."

Havoc poked his head into the Roy's office. "Hey chief, I thought I heard something about 'the whole office.' What are you planning?"

Edward laughed and said, "Apparently nothing, he says. But I'm not in on the bet. He's just trying to trick me or something."

Mustang sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Why doesn't anyone trust me anymore?"

Havoc rolled his eyes and said, "For a lot of reasons, sir."

He looked at Edward and Havoc wearily, and shook his head. "Never mind." He frowned. "Maybe I should call it off."

Havoc and Fullmetal looked at each other. "Well, if you are serious, then I would like to give it a try," said Edward. Suddenly an idea popped in his head. "But if you are in fact messing with me, then I will have permission to punch you with my metal arm. Hard." He nodded his head, satisfied with his conditions.

Roy thought for a second, and then said, "True. Here are _my_ rules for this. This will last an hour. We will have a steady conversation and we will not lie to each other during that time. Also, the loser of the bet will get their face drawn on with permanent marker and cannot scrub it off until a week has passed. Deal?"

Edward, who had been listening carefully, nodded his head. "Deal."

Roy added, "Also, everything we say will be recorded so we can check up on the facts later. So don't think you can get away with anything. And if the outcome of the bet is that no one has won, then that's it. No arguing."

"Okay," Edward agreed. After a second thought, he said, "Bastard."

Roy just grinned. "Okay," he said, looking at his watch, "the bet starts…_now!_"

o0o

**Edward POV**

The bet had been relatively easy. Simple questions were coming from the colonel, nothing too personal or anything. He sighed. The colonel and himself were taking ten-minute turns of asking each other questions. Of course, they had to answer truthfully to whatever was being asked.

It started off easy; Roy asked questions like, "What is your favorite color?"

"Red."

"Obviously," Roy said with a smirk, looking pointedly at Edward's red cloak. Before Edward could reply, he asked another question. "What's your least favorite drink?"

Edward grimaced and said, "Milk." He shuddered.

That little bastard had decided to take the first turn. _Oh well_, Edward thought. _His turn will be over soon, and then I can have my round. Yes, oh yesss…the idiot won't be able to tell the truth with the questions I'll be asking him, he'll be so embarrassed._ Hegrinned with the thought.

"…The other day?"

"What?" Edward had been so engrossed with what he was planning; he hadn't heard most of what Mustang had asked.

"I said, weren't you with Winry the other day?"

Edward blushed and adopted an angry expression. He hadn't known that Roy would try out his own method he had just thought about. Mostly, Mustang had been asking okay inquiries – until now. Edward tried to find a way around the question. _Well, I suppose I can't get around the rules. _Giving up, Edward said, "Yes."

Roy grinned and leaned forward. "What were you doing?"

By now Edward had turned a deep pink color. Sighing, Edward answered, "Mostly just walking and then we ate at a restaurant place."

Roy now looked evil. He slowly asked, "Was that all you were doing? Give me all of the details."

Edward shuddered. His face was burning and his heart was thumping wildly. _Bastard_, he thought. "Um…we…"

"Go on, Fullmetal." Roy asked, prodding deeper.

"Okay, this is what happened, in order. With all of the details you want. Umm…first she arrived at my door, with this little blue dress on that brought out her blue eyes."

"That's it. All of the details, Fullmetal."

Edward grimaced, but kept on going. "Then we walked down the hall. She was in a really happy mood because she was talking about automail, of course…."

**Normal POV**

Unknown to the two men in their office, Havoc had secretly whispered what was going on inside Mustang's office to Breda, Falman, and Fuery. Holding in their laughter, Mustang's subordinates had all crowded up to the door in hopes of hearing what was going on inside, with the exception of Hawkeye.

When Winry walked in, expecting to see Edward, she stared in puzzlement at the men with their ears on Mustang's door. Hawkeye motioned toward Winry.

"Roy and Edward are having a bet…" Hurriedly Hawkeye explained to Winry. Winry raised her eyebrows but said nothing. Suddenly Breda motioned furiously to Winry.

"They're talking about you!" he whispered. Winry's eyes widened and she pushed everyone out the way so she could hear. Quietly they all eavesdropped on Roy and Edward's conversation.

"…She was talking about automail, of course. Then we headed down the road, still talking to each other. Winry nearly knocked me out with her wrench when she heard that I wasn't taking care of my automail properly. Man, she can be so mean sometimes!"

Winry's head was reeling. Edward? Talking about _her_? At first she was angry, but the she calmed down. _After all, it's not like he's doing it willingly_, she reasoned._ And he is recounting our date. That's kind of… sweet. _

"After about an hour, we went to a restaurant. She ordered pasta and I got a sandwich. During the meal, we kept up our conversation. First it was on her life in Rush Valley, and then it turned around to mine – always traveling, never stopping our search. Heck, even for some time during lunch, we even talked about what a bastard colonel you are."

"Fullmetal!"

"Well, it's the _truth. _And then we discussed…"

The colonel's voice had now turned predatory. "What did you _discuss_, Fullmetal? I want every…little…detail. Now."

Edward sighed in resignation. "Umm…"

"I'm waiting, Fullmetal."

Edward's voice burst out in a rush of words. "We talked about our relationship."

Silence.

Winry's cheeks burned. She knew she was blushing. Edward _had_ to tell Roy about what they talked about. And what they did afterwards. Oh, man. This would get _really_ embarrassing, _really_ soon.

**Sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger like that, but I will post the next chappie once people review and leave some ideas. Don't be shy with your reviews – I REALLY want to know your ideas on what kind of questions Edward will ask Roy. Don't be shy. I accept all kinds of questions, whether they are innocent, explicit, long, short…whatever. Just ask! I might put it in the next chapter.**

**Sorry if Roy was torturing Edward a little excessively in this one. Edward will get his revenge soon enough! Mwahahahahahaaa!**

**Okay, anyways, please review and thanks for reading! :D**


	2. Some Interesting Questions

**No Lying Allowed**

**Chapter Two: An Interesting Story**

**I'm baaack! With more of Roy and Edward! Now you will finally see what happens! Includes some Ed/Win fluff. (So cute…) Ok, well enough talk. Read and review, as always.**

**Thank you, THANK YOU to the four kind people who reviewed! Especially RenofAmestris. I will be answering your question in here (almost…).**

**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own any of the awesomeness that is the Fullmetal Alchemist series (sigh…)**

o0o

_Flashback_

"_Well, it's the truth. And then we discussed…"_

_The colonel's voice had now turned predatory. "What did you discuss, Fullmetal? I want every…little…detail. Now."_

_Edward sighed in resignation. "Umm…"_

"_I'm waiting, Fullmetal."_

_Edward's voice burst out in a rush of words. "We talked about our relationship."_

_Silence._

_Winry's cheeks burned. She knew she was blushing. Edward had to tell Roy about what they talked about. And what they did afterwards. Oh, man. This would get really embarrassing, really soon._

_End Flashback_

Silence echoed throughout the whole office.

If Edward and Winry could have seen each other, they would have known that they had the same identical blushing face, embarrassed eyes and anxious expression. Upon hearing what Edward had just said, Breda, Fuery, Havoc and Falman had reacted in their own little ways.

Breda had first appeared shocked, and then he struggled to hold in his laughter. Fuery had turned beet red, looking embarrassed about what he just heard. Havoc and Falman had reacted somewhat more mildly. Falman had the same almost stony expression, but Havoc looked…envious. After all, it was widely known that Havoc had horrible luck with women. Right after Edward's confession, Havoc had muttered, "Good for you, chief."

And Roy? Well, Roy reacted in his own little way. After he had processed what Edward had said, he felt at first a little embarrassed. Then he smirked while trying not to chuckle. Edward had appeared incensed at Roy's reaction. He clenched the arms of his chair and waited.

Roy, while still smirking, said, "Well, Fullmetal…why don't you tell me about it."

"NO!" Edward shouted, standing up furiously.

"Do you want me to draw all over your face with permanent marker, Fullmetal? Remember, you will have to walk around for a week…with it on," taunted Mustang, referring to the rules of the bet they had agreed on.

Edward tightly shut his eyes and groaned. With a grumble, he sat back down and said, "Okay…"

Roy smirked again and said, "Well?"

"Umm…well…first, Winry asked if I had any girlfriends. I said no, and then I wondered why she had on this weird expression on her face, as if…umm…well, then she asked if I had any feelings for anyone. Well…I did, but not just anyone. I told her that. And she said…well, she said…"

_Flashback_

"_Do you have feelings for anyone, Ed?" Winry asked cautiously._

_Edward blushed. "Umm…yeah. But not just anyone."_

_Winry prodded him further, asking, "Who?" She really wanted to know, for reasons of her own. She waited impatiently._

"_The girl might not like me back, so…I don't wanna tell. Okay?" He said desperately._

"_Please tell! I won't spill the beans to anyone, I promise!"_

"_Okay…umm…"_

"_Please!"_

"_The girl might just possibly hit me with a wrench if I tell her I love her…" Edward hinted._

_Winry's eyes widened. Her heart was beating wildly and she felt like she might faint. Does he really have feelings for me…? She thought dizzily. Across from her, Edward sat nervously, watching her with cautious eyes. He seemed a little bit embarrassed about his confession, but determined. Winry gasped several times before saying, "Edward! Of course I won't hit you with a wrench!"_

_Edward let all of his pent-up breath out at once, sighing in relief. "Good. I really was worried, you know. I remember one time I accidentally touched your…boob, and you nearly knocked me over to the west side of Resembool! I didn't want to chance that again, Winry." He eyed her warily, still on the alert._

_Winry's eyes narrowed at this unpleasant memory (for her, at least. Edward seemed to enjoy it for a split second!) But she was still caught up with what Edward had said. She didn't knock him out, or yell, or turn red with embarrassment. Instead, she did something that completely surprised them both. She leaned over the table and gently caught up Edward's lips with a kiss. It lasted for a few seconds, and then she softly pulled away when she was done. She had to say, she rather liked the blush that spread itself across Edward's cheeks._

"_Winry…I – you – I mean to say, that – "_

_Winry laughed softly. She whispered, "Edward, hush. I love you too. Just please, kiss me again. I love the feel of your lips." Edward turned even pinker with this, but he leaned over and kissed her again. This time he dragged his tongue gently against her lips and she understood the message. Once she opened up for him, he explored her mouth, tasting all that was his now…_

_End Flashback_

No matter how much Roy hid his embarrassment and shock last time, now he couldn't. His mouth hung open. Edward was telling him everything about his date…every detail, every sensation. Of course, Roy _had_ specifically asked him to say it, but…this was, this caught him completely off guard. He struggled to hide his blush.

Finally, Edward had finished. His eyes were on the floor, looking at no one. He seemed too embarrassed for words.

Roy cleared his throat to break the tension in the room. He looked at Fullmetal warily and said, "Well, it was obvious that you were telling the truth. Umm…thanks, for that."

Edward snapped, "Well, it was part of the bet. I'm _not _gonna lie."

Suddenly Mustang looked at his watch. His eyes widened and he said, "Oh, Fullmetal. My time is up. Your turn to ask me questions." He sighed in anticipation and said, "Shoot."

Edward shook himself out of his thoughts and refocused his gaze on Mustang. "What? I was kinda out of it for a minute."

Roy rolled his eyes and said impatiently, "Your turn to ask me questions. Okay?"

Edward sat up in his chair suddenly. He grinned mischievously and rubbed his hands together. His eyes glinted. Roy looked at him suspiciously. "What are you up to, Fullmetal?"

Ed drew in a deep breath and let it all out, yelling, "YES! PAYBACK!" Roy looked a little scared. Ed smirked evilly.

"Okay, bastard colonel, now it's _your _turn to get embarrassed. Ha!"

Roy 's face turned white with apprehension.

"Okay. Hmm…first. What is your favorite thing to do after work?" Edward asked with a grin on his face.

Roy blushed, color filling his previously white face. "I like to go on dates."

Edward nodded and leaned forward expectantly. "What usually happens before and after those dates?"

Roy looked anxious. "I'm not sure you really wanna know, Fullmetal…"

"Answer the question, bastard."

"Really! Come on, plea-" Suddenly the colonel stopped.

"What were you about to say, Mustang?" Edward asked slowly. He looked like he was really enjoying this, to say the least. Mustang had tortured him, asking a question that deeply concerned Ed's private life. Now Ed would get his revenge. Edward sat back and grinned widely.

"Why do I have to repeat myself?" Roy whined. He almost sounded like a five-year-old.

"Because I asked you a question, and you have to answer. Tell the truth, bastard."

"Okay, fine! I said, 'come on, plea…plea…'" The colonel choked. He couldn't and wouldn't beg to Edward. His pride could not take it. But the terms of the bet weighed over his shoulders, and he finally stuttered out, "…please."

Edward laughed. "You still have to answer my question, Mustang. What usually happens before and after your 'dates'? Describe it just like I did." He sat back, satisfied.

Mustang knew exactly what was happening to him. Just as the saying goes, he was 'getting a taste of his own medicine.' He groaned. Oh, well. All he had to do was win the bet, and then he could get his sweet revenge on that little pipsqueak sitting across the room from him.

He decided to answer the question. "Okay, _fine_. I'll answer your stupid question. Satisfied, you little shrimp?"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE COULD BE MISTAKEN FOR A GRAIN OF SAND?"

Mustang sighed. "I'll just ignore that and answer your question. Okay, this is what happens on one of my dates, in order. I pick up the woman, usually at her house. Then we go to a place to eat. Meanwhile, she's flirting the whole time. Afterwards, we go to my place and…and…you sure you want to know?"

Edward was still indignant from the insult he had to endure. "ANSWER THE QUESTION and stop procrastinating." After a second, he added, "Bastard."

Roy blushed for the tenth time this evening. "We have sex."

Edward seemed to be expecting this kind of answer. It was no secret that the Colonel was a 'womanizer'. The fact was practically known throughout Amestris.

For good measure, Edward added, "You know what, Mustang? If you do that every evening, then you're a man-whore."

Mustang said, irritated, "I only date a few days of the week."

To the people sitting outside, eavesdropping (with the EXCEPTION of Hawkeye) was hilarious. Now that Edward's turn was over, the question-and-answer session had dropped its tension and had adopted a sheepish atmosphere. Breda, Falman, Fuery, Havoc, and Winry were all trying to hold in laughter from the rounds of insults flying from both sides. Silently, Winry giggled. Hawkeye was sitting at her desk, working. Faintly, she could hear parts of Roy and Ed's conversation.

From inside the room, Edward said, "Okay. Next question."

Roy sighed. Silently he thought, _now what?_

"I just wanted to know…okay, so you said that you date several times a week, right?"

"Got that right."

"And you have sex with the women afterwards?"

"Uh-huh."

"Then, have you ever screwed Hawkeye?"

At first, Roy had no reaction. He was still processing Ed's question. When he finally realized Fullmetal's inquiry, he turned beet red and spluttered, "FULLMETAL!"

Riza Hawkeye heard Roy's shout and looked at the door, concerned. She noticed that the crowd at the door – Havoc, Falman, Breda, Fuery, and Winry – was all looking at her in fear. Silently she stood up and walked over, listening intently. There was no need, because Roy was still yelling.

"OF COURSE NOT! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT-"

"Roy, calm down, it was just a question-"

"I WOULD NEVER-"

"Well then, why? Why haven't you screwed Hawkeye yet?"

For some reason, this shut Roy up. However, it did not have the same effect on Hawkeye. With a bang, the entrance to Roy's office burst open and Hawkeye walked in, looking furious.

**Ooooo, what naughty questions Ed is asking Roy! I bet you really wanna know what happens next, dont'cha? Well, reviews really help me write faster! ****wink wink*******

**I love cliffhangers!**


	3. Hawkeye's Fury

**No Lying Allowed**

**Chapter Three: Hawkeye's Fury**

**Thanks to everybody who has reviewed so far! I'm really proud to have attracted this much attention. Every time I get a new review, my urge to write only gets stronger. So, the more you provide feedback, the more chapters you get! Hehe :D**

**Oh, and Wise Demon of Bubbles, GIMME SOME IDEAS! I know you have some! Stop procrastinating! Meanie…*sniffle sniffle***

**Disclaimer: I own no part of Fullmetal Alchemist (although I would like to own one very hot colonel…)**

**o0o**

Hawkeye yanked open the door. Mustang and Edward stared, openmouthed and completely caught off guard.

The rest of the people who had been eavesdropping against the door fell to the ground in a heap. Red-faced, Mustang's subordinates and Winry quickly got off of the ground and straightened themselves up. Meanwhile, Hawkeye rounded on Edward, who shrank back in fear.

"Edward – please repeat to me what you just asked Mustang." Her expression was of intense anger.

"Ummm…" Edward petered out. He gulped.

Hawkeye lost all patience. She whipped out one of her guns from her holster and swiftly pointed it at Edward. Her eyes were cold and her hand never wavered.

Edward's eyes betrayed his fear. He tried to pretend that he wasn't scared, but he wasn't fooling anyone. Eventually, Edward decided to stop trying to cover up his fear and cowered, shielding himself with his arms.

Mustang felt just a little pity for his subordinate. He, too, had been pinned beneath the icy glare and unerring aim that was a famous characteristic of Riza Hawkeye. However, this was unusually harsh, even due to the circumstances.

He leaned toward Riza and asked uncertainly, "Isn't this a little too forceful, Ri-"

His question was cut off abruptly as a _'chak'_ resounded through the room. Hawkeye had pulled out her other gun and had pointed it at Roy. Roy flinched.

Riza spoke in a low voice. "Edward, I will not ask again…repeat what you just asked the colonel. Now." Her eyes darted from Roy to Edward.

Edward stuttered out, "O-okay. Umm…I asked Mustang why hasn't he screwed y-you yet."

BLAM! BLAM!

Mustang and Fullmetal both jumped so hard in their seats that they fell out of them. Quickly they stood up. Their backs were pressed against the wall of Mustang's office.

"Edward, you…you perverted midget!" She hissed from between her clenched teeth.

Edward's face was white and bloodless with fright. Riza's gun was pointed right...at...him. He gulped.

Suddenly she whirled and pointed it at Mustang. Mustang's eyes were wide, scared.

"Riza, please…point that away from me!" Mustang pleaded.

Hawkeye giggled. She felt like she was getting her sweet revenge. Seeing her commanding officer so petrified was kind of…funny to her. She decided to taunt him.

"Why, sir? Are you _scared_ of me?"

Mustang attempted to stand up straighter against the wall to prove her wrong, but he failed miserably. He tried not to cower. After all, he was her boss. He should appear strong.

"Do _not_ talk about me behind my back!" Riza whispered, menacing.

Roy tried to nod his head. For some reason, his neck didn't want to comply with his orders.

Hawkeye took this lack of response as meaning that he didn't agree with her. Her eyes narrowed. With another _'chak'_, the gun's safety was flipped off.

Mustang was so terrified of his subordinate at that moment that he took one look at Hawkeye's gun and her ice-cold eyes staring at him…

And sank to the floor in a dead faint.

"MUSTANG!" Edward yelled. In a panic, he wondered to himself, _what did Hawkeye do to Mustang to make him so scared of her?_

And Hawkeye? Hawkeye was just…standing there. She was shocked that Mustang had fainted. He was supposed to be strong…wasn't he?

Mustang was on the floor, spread-eagled with his eyes closed. He looked so helpless and vulnerable like that.

For just a moment, she felt her heart soften.

Abruptly she felt confused. She was furious just a second ago, and now…now she was feeling sorry for her commanding officer.

Her eyes darted to Edward, standing there looking at her with his mouth open. Then she gazed upon the shocked people by the door – Breda, Falman, Havoc, Fuery, Winry…Suddenly she felt remorseful for making them feel terrified. Of her.

Hastily she turned and swept hurriedly out of the room, through the door, and into the hall. Panting slightly, she ran to the ladies room and sank down onto the floor, her head resting on her knees. She tried to restore calm and peace to her roiling thoughts….

**Roy's POV**

_Ouch…_

My head hurt like hell. A large, throbbing knot ached at the back of my skull. I groaned and tried to sit up.

Aw, man. My shoulders ached too. So did my back. Why was I hurting all over?

I rubbed my eyes and blinked, bringing the room into focus. Edward and Winry were standing over me. So were the rest of my subordinates. Wait…why were they doing that? What had happened?

A memory was nudging at the edge of my consciousness. It was annoying, and I decided to ignore it. I pushed it away and opted to try to sit up. Right when I tried, the room started spinning.

"What the…" I moaned. A few seconds later, the room stopped and the bout of dizziness passed. I huffed and attempted to stand. Winry, who was still waiting next to me, held out her hand to grasp mine. I took it.

Fullmetal snickered. "Hey bastard, what do you remember?"

I glared at him, but I had an inkling of doubt at the edge of my mind. Why did he look so smug?

"Fullmetal, be quiet and go sit over there. Leave me alone." I ordered.

He grinned evilly but he did as he was told. He looked like he was ready to burst out laughing. Why?

Suddenly the memory that had been hiding along the confines of my mind burst out of its restraints. My eyes widened as I remembered what had happened before I….

Before I FAINTED.

I buried my head in my hands in shame. My face was burning red and I knew that Edward could obviously see it. Why did all of the embarrassing things have to happen to me?

Riza had been yelling at Edward for a question that he had asked me. Then she had pulled out her guns. I knew that she was getting serious when she did that.

And she had pointed them at _me_? I was so…umm…well…scared at that moment that I couldn't talk or do anything. I had finally gone over the edge and fainted when she had clicked the safeties off.

Damn. How was I _ever_ going to live that down?

**I was busier than usual this week and couldn't update as fast as I would have liked. So sorry, people! **

**Hey, if you have any questions that you would like Edward to ask Roy, then put it in the reviews. That includes you, Wise Demon of Bubbles. :P**

**To anybody who's interested in Youtube videos, I have a really great one for you. It's called Heroic Hearts by Viinurify. It is THE BEST amv I have ever seen. Watch it!**

**Next chapter should be up in about a week, people!**


	4. So, Mustang, What'cha Gonna Do?

**No Lying Allowed**

**Chapter Four: So, Mustang, What'cha Gonna Do?**

**Hello peoples! Well, I have to say that I got a kind of bad review last time I posted a chapter here. **

**Since it was an anonymous review, I can't go and kill the person (just kidding) so I just send a shout out here: I AM JUST A BEGINNING WRITER. THIS IS MY SECOND STORY. It is not really supposed to be the best piece of literature ever! Sheesh!**

**So, here's the fourth chapter. For the purposes of this story, I have altered a well known fact in Fullmetal Alchemist. Jean Havoc, instead of losing the ability to walk, has retained that vital skill after the accident in the underground labratory. Okay?**

**Enjoy, and don't forget to review!**

**o0o**

An awkward silence filled the room after Riza left. Everybody looked uneasily at each other, and then they looked at Mustang. He was still sitting on his place on the floor.

Mustang buried his face in his hands and groaned, feeling very embarrassed. He had just _fainted_ in front of everybody. Including his subordinates, who were, by the way, standing by the door. They looked sheepish at being caught eavesdropping against the door.

"So, um, chief, are you going to continue the bet?" asked Havoc. He looked a little nervous. He quailed as Mustang glared at him.

Sighing, Mustang dropped his stare, and glanced at his watch. "Well, we still have about thirty minutes left. It was Fullmetal's turn, so I think he should finish it. Does that answer your question?"

Havoc nodded. Suddenly Winry spoke up. "Well, can we sit down and hear the rest of your conversation? We're just gonna eavesdrop anyways." She gestured to everybody else in the office.

Mustang groaned. "Fine. Sit somewhere, and be quiet."

Havoc, Fuery, and Breda all sat on the couch opposite of Edward. Winry and Falman sat on the couch _with_ Edward. Once they were all settled in, Edward began speaking.

He grinned and said, "So…it was my turn, right?"

Mustang groaned. "Don't make me repeat myself, Fullmetal."

"Fine, fine. Now that Hawkeye the Maniac is out the room, I assume it is safe to continue with the questions. Remember; tell the truth and all that. Okay?"

"Okay!"

"Sheesh, just making sure. Okay. My last question was asking if you had done it with Hawkeye yet. And…you had answered no. So…." With this, Fullmetal sat and mused for a minute. Suddenly his eyes lit up.

"I have an idea! Okay, tell me why haven't you made a move on Hawkeye yet."

Everybody in the office groaned. Winry exclaimed, "Edward! Why do you keep asking that type of intruding questions? Do you have any sense of decency?"

Mustang said, "Winry kind of does have a point."

Edward rolled his eyes. "I'm asking them partly because I'm curious, and partly because I'm getting back at him for making me tell about our date. So…Mustang, answer the question I just asked you."

"Fine! I haven't made a move on Hawkeye yet because if I did, she would put a bullet through my head. I would've thought that you had deduced that from the display she provided just a minute ago." He snapped.

Edward looked confused for a moment. "Well, I've always thought that you would've made a move on her by now. Hey, wait! Do you _like_ Hawkeye?" he inquired.

Mustang blushed. "Yes."

"What do you like about her?" Edward asked. He seemed genuinely interested. For good reason, too. True, Hawkeye was a beautiful blonde woman who had gorgeous amber eyes and a shapely figure. However, she had some sharp edges to round out before she could be truly desirable. For instance, her temper needs to be kept in check more often.

Mustang had decided to let go of all of his pride back when he had fainted. He was going to stop resisting and just answer the questions. So it came as no surprise when he answered quickly.

"I like her eyes and her hair color. Also, I admire her shape. I really don't like a woman who has no curves…" With that, he lowered his eyes and stared at the floor, slightly embarrassed.

"Hmm…I can agree with that. Okay, on to the next question. Do you think that Hawkeye like _you?_" Fullmetal leaned forward expectantly.

Mustang scratched his head. He mused for a moment, and then said, "Well, you can't really tell because she doesn't show her emotions a lot. However, there _was_ a time when she actually did lose her composure…" He grinned evilly.

Fullmetal rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know. Back in that underground laboratory, right?"

Mustang snickered. He seemed so unlike himself right then. It was almost like he was a little kid remembering something really entertaining. For him, it was something really similar to that, because that was one of his favorite memories of Hawkeye.

"Yes, remember? I was badly hurt, and she thought I was going to die." He sat there for a moment. "She was crying."

Edward snorted. "Don't get all mushy and stuff. You weren't as bad off as Havoc. He got _stabbed!"_

"Yeah, but he survived!" Mustang shot back.

"Hey, I'm right here," Havoc said from across the room. He waved his hand helpfully.

"Be quiet!" Edward and Roy said in unison. They looked shocked for a second, and then glared at each other.

Winry burst out laughing. "You guys are idiots," she choked out.

Ed and Mustang were still glaring daggers at each other when Mustang's watch beeped. "Oh," Mustang said, caught off guard. "Your time is up, Fullmetal."

"Damn it!" Ed cursed.

Roy grinned and rubbed his hands together. "Time to get down to business."

**Okay, that wasn't too bad, was it? Tell me what you think in a review! I love those!**

**Also, if you have any questions Roy should ask Ed, please leave it in a review or PM. I'll take any and all questions! Thanks in advance.**

**Next chapter should be up in about a week!**


	5. Mustang's Turn!

**No Lying Allowed**

**Chapter Five: Mustang's Turn!**

**Wow! Such a big response to my last chapter! Thank you, _thank you_ all for being such good reviewers. Who would've thought that my first story could have gotten this much attention? I am so lovin' it! **

**Also, I give a humongous cookie to Naruhina7799 for giving me THE BEST review I have ever had. I felt so warmed inside when I read it! Thank you! XD **

**Plus one for RenofAmestris for providing some much-needed ideas. Yaayy! I love all you people!**

o0o

"My turn," Mustang said evilly. He grinned at Edward. Fullmetal, who was caught by surprise when Mustang's watch beeped, still looked a little bit confused.

"What?"

"Your turn for questioning is _over,_ Fullmetal. _Now,_ I can ask _you_ questions," Mustang said slowly and a little bit sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and sat back in his chair. "Seriously, Fullmetal, you're not usually this slow."

Edward huffed. "Sorry! Get on with it already, bastard."

"Stop calling me that."

"No."

"If you call me that again, I'll…I'll…"

"You'll _what_, bastard?" Edward asked.

Roy considered for a minute. After a little while, his eyes lit up and he said, "I'll ask you more embarrassing questions." He smirked. _Beat that, Fullmetal_, he thought to himself.

Edward's eyes widened. "NO!"

"Well, then, stop calling me bastard."

"….Fine."

_Finally_, Roy thought. _Now…what should I ask the little shrimp? _He mused quietly.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL AN ANT NEEDS A MICROSCOPE TO SEE HIM?" Edward yelled from across the room.

Mustang jumped in his seat and blinked in surprise. Apparently he had accidentally murmured the last bit out loud, because Edward had heard it. However, Havoc, Breda, Falman, and the rest of the people sitting around the room hadn't. Hmm. He didn't know that Edward's hearing was that sharp. Roy stored that little tidbit of information away in his brain for future use.

"I didn't call you that, Edward. Maybe you should get your hearing checked," Roy replied calmly.

Edward was still seething. "I hate you, you little colonel bast-" Suddenly he stopped and glanced fearfully at the colonel, who had leaned forward in interest.

"What did you just say, Fullmetal?"

Edward glared at Mustang. His lips were sealed tightly shut. It was obvious that he refused to say exactly what he had about to call Roy Mustang.

Winry raised her hand helpfully and said, "I think he was about to call you bastard, colonel."

Edward looked wounded. He mouthed the word _traitor!_ at Winry. He looked away from her, pouting.

"I knew it," Roy said triumphantly. "Now I get to ask you some…_embarrassing_ questions, Fullmetal." He laughed.

No one in the office would admit it, but secretly they all wanted to hear the dirty little secrets that Roy and Edward had stored away inside of their hearts, where no one could possibly find out about them. The two men always seemed like they had nothing to hide, that they had nothing to fear.

However, the opposite was actually true. Everybody is human. Everybody has their secrets.

And this contest would allow them to hear about it.

The tension in the office was tangible as Roy and Edward stared at each other. Roy's eyes were amused, while Edward's were furious. A minute passed silently while they sized each other up, but then Roy cleared his throat softly.

"I think I should be getting on with this," he murmured. "What should I ask you, Fullmetal? Hmmm…"

He stared off into space and thought for a moment. He glanced at Edward, then at Winry, and finally back again. An idea seemed to dawn on him. He said, "You ready, Fullmetal? I know what I will ask you now."

Edward grunted.

"I'll take that as a yes. Why haven't you jumped Winry like all the other hormonal teens?"

Edward glared at Mustang while everybody else in the room grinned. "I haven't because I have some sense of decency. And anyways, I'm not _that _hormonal, anyways. Sheesh!" Fullmetal started muttering to himself angrily.

"Okay, next question. Are you still a virgin?"

Everyone in the office gasped. Edward yelled, "MUSTANG!"

Mustang shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "Well, it was something I've always wondered about." After a minute Roy added, "Answer the question."

"YES! I still am! What the hell, you perverted asshole!" Edward was blushing furiously. His face was red and he didn't know where to look. Everyone was gazing at him. Even Falman was looking at him pityingly.

Roy was smirking to himself. "I never would have guessed. You're…almost seventeen, right?"

Edward was shaking. "I'm…I'm not in a hurry, all right? Can we change the subject?"

Roy finally relented. "All right. Moving on to the next question…"

Fullmetal relaxed. If he was honest with himself, the only reason that he was still a virgin was because he was saving himself for one person. Winry. He would die if anyone found out about it though, so he was a more than a little touchy on the subject.

"…of me?"

"What?" Edward asked, coming out of his reverie. He shook himself a little.

Roy huffed and repeated, "I asked you the next question. I said, have you ever been jealous of me?" He smirked and waited.

"Oh!" Edward said in surprise. He had expected the next question to be just as dirty as the previous ones had been. He was actually a bit relieved that it wasn't. He'd had enough of those kinds of questions to last him for quite a while.

"Ummm…" Edward thought for a moment. Well…_had _he ever been jealous of his superior?

Yes, Fullmetal realized. Many times.

Roy Mustang was such a womanizer. He could get a girlfriend faster than you could say "Alchemy." And that was one quality that Edward envied.

But there were other reasons, too. He was _good-looking_.

He could do freaking _flame alchemy_, for crying out loud!

And the icing on top of the cake…Roy Mustang was _tall._

So yeah! Of course Edward was jealous of the Flame Alchemist!

Quietly, Edward murmured, "Yes…I've been jealous of you before."

Roy grinned. "Why?"

Edward glared at Roy. "Do I have to _spell_ _it out _for you, Mustang? For goodness sakes, here's why! You're tall! You're a flame alchemist! You're so freaking good-looking, women climb over each other to date you! So _that's _why! Are you happy now?"

Roy sat there for a moment, stunned. Wow. He hadn't expected to get that much out of the shrimp. He filed that little outburst away in his mind to use later.

But…wait a second. Fullmetal thought he was _good-looking_? Now, this could mean two things….

Mustang blurted out, "Fullmetal, I have to ask you something. Who do you like?"

Edward asked suspiciously, "What do you mean?"

Roy answered impatiently, "You know! Who do you have a crush on?"

Edward glanced nervously in Winry's direction. She was looking at him shyly. A blush colored her cheeks. "Umm…I like Winry."

Fullmetal watched carefully for her reaction. She looked down, both flattered and embarrassed at the same time.

"Is that it?"

"…Yes."

"You sure?"

"Yes! I already told you!" _Sheesh! What is he getting at? _Edward wondered.

Mustang relaxed. Man, he was glad he had gotten that over with. He was panicking for a second at what Edward's description of him might mean. Thank god that Edward wasn't gay!

"Okay, last question before my turn is over. You ready, Fullmetal?"

"Is it a perverted question?" Edward asked nervously.

Roy rolled his eyes. "No."

"Okay. Shoot."

"Why haven't you cut your hair?"

Ed patted his hair. He frowned in puzzlement and said, "What's wrong with it?"

"You _really _don't want me to answer that question, Fullmetal," Roy said.

"I think my hair looks fine this way," Ed said defensively.

"Suit yourself." Roy said. He looked at his watch again. "Oops. My time is up, Fullmetal. Now it's your turn."

"Yesss!" Edward exclaimed.

"There's one catch, though," Roy said seriously.

"What?" Edward asked.

"Riza is back, so no inappropriate questions about her." He pointed to a spot right behind Edward.

Edward spun around to find himself suddenly facing Roy's most prized subordinate. Riza looked a lot calmer than when she had last left the office. She glanced at Ed and said, "Hi."

"Umm…hi," he said nervously. He wouldn't soon forget that gun pointed at his face from the last time he had seen her. That had scared the sh** out of him. He gulped.

"Okay…Mustang." Edward said.

**Yaay! The chapter's done! **

**You people cannot possibly imagine how sorry I am for not posting this sooner. I wish that I could have, but one thing let to another, and…well…this chapter was delayed almost two weeks after my last update. I'm sorry! Please forgive me! *sob sob***

**Please review and give me some ideas for questions that Ed can ask Roy! Embarrassing questions are accepted. Just don't include Hawkeye in them. We don't want our poor main characters getting shot, now do we?**

**Until next time! :D**

**P.S. Part of the reason of why this chapter was so late was because I was typing a Kimblee/OC story! You will be able to read it soon. It will have multiple chapters and it will be rated M. Okay? XD**


	6. Embarrassment!

**No Lying Allowed**

**Chapter Six: Embarrassment!**

**Okay people, here's the actual chapter, not just an author's note! Sorry about the last upload, but I just didn't wanna leave you guys hanging. I had to warn you that I was going to update late. I know I disappointed a lot of you awesome people, and I apologize for that, but it had to be done. **

**Well, my USB problem I had is now fixed temporarily. I still have to find a new one. Sadness :(**

**Well, here's the new chapter! I wanted to answer all of your questions, but I had to save some. Sorry!**

**Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist does **_**not**_** freakin belong to me! ARRGGHH!**

o0o

Edward glanced nervously behind himself once again as he settled in his chair. Riza might be much calmer than the last time Ed had seen her, but she still had those ominous–looking guns sitting in her holster. He wasn't about to take any chances of offending her.

"Ummm…hi, Hawkeye," he muttered.

She turned her honey–colored eyes on to him slowly. She looked slightly wary. "Edward,

the colonel's right. No questions about me."

Ed gulped. She didn't have to say _or else_ to convey the sense that there would be consequences if he breached her trust again. He looked away from her and studied Mustang, who was waiting silently behind his desk for Ed to begin talking. One scan of the room and the alchemist could see that everyone else was waiting, too. Fullmetal sighed. Here goes.

"Well, Mustang, what kind of questions do you want me to ask you?" He said grudgingly.

Mustang considered. "Hmm…anything, I guess. Just don't pry too much, ok?"

Edward brightened. At least he could ask the question that he had been wondering for some time now. He grinned.

"Hey, I've been wondering…what is your worst fear, colonel?"

Everybody around the room leaned forward in interest, even Hawkeye. Now, _this _was a point that most of them had not thought about. However, once you pondered it, it was a little bit obvious for the people who knew him well.

Mustang didn't anticipate this inquiry, and was a little taken aback. His worst fear…? "Ummm…well…"

"Spill it." Ed said sternly.

Mustang looked torn. He has having an internal debate on what his greatest fear was. Well, he was having trouble deciding. He actually had _two_…

"Which one?" Mustang blurted out abruptly before he knew what he was saying.

Edward looked puzzled. "What do you mean, _which one?"_ His golden eyes clouded over for a second until he got it. "Wait, do you have _two_ fears? Tell me both!"

"Both?"

"Yes, both!"

Mustang huffed in annoyance. "Fine. My worst fears are…"

Winry cocked her head in interest.

"That I won't be here to protect someone I love, and…" He trailed off.

Breda exchanged glances with Falman. What was the last one?

"Spill it." Ed repeated.

A suspicious blush covered Roy's face. "Ummm…and I really, _really_ hate the darkness." He looked down.

A shocked silence filling the room was the only warning Roy had before Ed burst out laughing. More chuckles emanated from the small audience watching when they realized what Mustang had said. The Great Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, was afraid of darkness? Come on!

"Well, you can't blame me!" Mustang protested loudly against the laughter filling the room. "The only people who have been with me underground beneath Central City were Alphonse, Riza, and little Pipsqueak over here! You guys didn't see the chimeras – "

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT A CHIMERA WILL IGNORE HIM?" Edward roared, forgetting all about what he was laughing at just a minute before.

Mustang sighed and buried his face in his hands. After a brief minute, he looked up and said, "Fullmetal, the chimeras did _not_ ignore you, you whiny freak."

Ed seethed and glared at Mustang, who looked away and continued addressing everyone else, who were still waiting for Roy to continue his explanation. Despite his anger, Ed still listened as Roy kept talking.

"Anyways, you guys didn't see the chimeras that were down there. Those freaks of nature would scare the lights out of anyone.

"They just kept coming at you. They were like…like deformed demons. And when I was caught in a side tunnel, separated from the group, and with my gloves torn and useless, I couldn't light the fire that would save me. I was caught in the darkness, alone with those _things."_

Everyone _except_ for Riza and Ed waited with bated breath. They hadn't heard this story before. Maybe Roy actually did have a reason to be scared of the dark. Roy continued.

"I would be dead meat if it wasn't for Alphonse. He blasted those things away from me and got me out of there. Later he found a lighter for me to use in absence of my gloves, since they were ruined. And…"

Roy paused. For a minute, he sat and stared at the floor, until he quietly added, "…ever since then, I hate being in the dark. It just reminds me of that one experience."

The somber mood in the room deepened, until Edward broke it with a derisive laugh. "Ha! Hey, Roy, do you have a stuffed animal? Does it comfort you through your scary nights?" He broke off with another snort of laughter.

Fuery and Winry looked at each other in confusion. Where did that come from?

"Is that a question?" Roy asked…nervously?

Ed stopped laughing and looked up. He considered. "Well, yes, it is." He grinned.

Roy's face now looked like a ripe tomato. He stammered out, "I-I have one, but I don't sleep with it…"

Ed howled. He was tearing up with laughter and shaking in his chair. Soon, even the chair wouldn't support him and he collapsed onto the floor, bawling out his laughter. His fist was pounding against the carpet.

And he wasn't the only one. Winry was giggling over in her corner, eyes tightly shut with mirth. Havoc was laughing quietly.

Fuery's face was turning red because he was trying to hold it in. Breda was sniggering. Falman was his usual stoic self.

Mustang yelled, "S-Stop laughing at me!" He was both embarrassed and angry. Why, oh why did he even enter this contest in the first place?

The room quieted down slowly. Edward was still chuckling when the Flame Alchemist asked, "Next?" He was fuming.

"Okay, okay…" Ed giggled. He was trying to take deep breaths and not start laughing again. In and out…in and out…

"Whew," Ed muttered. He rubbed his hands together and rolled his shoulders. "Okay. Next question…hmmm."

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